In Divorces, Look at the Big Picture.

We need to get along. I spent a whole day in trial recently so that a mother could vent her frustration with the children’s father.  She wanted to take away the father’s overnights with the children and she wanted to be the sole decision maker for the children’s major decisions.  The Judge concluded that she was the best parent of the two, but that was not enough to modify the shared parenting that had previously been ordered in the case.  Thousands of dollars in attorneys’ fees were spent, and what was accomplished?  The mother had no chance of “winning,” and she had been told that she would loose by the mediator. [The court regularly requires mediation before it will let a case go to trial.] I say that more dialog, and good faith “give and take” would be helpful in family law.


Here are suggestions to assist in negotiations:

! Use the bread, cake, and frosting method to prioritize your issues. The “bread” is what you absolutely need.  The “cake” is what would be a little sweeter to achieve, and the “frosting” is what you can do without.

! Stop blaming; look to the future.

! Try forgiveness.  Remind yourself of the good traits that attracted you to the other person initially. Verbalize the positives of the other person directly to the other person right at the start of negotiations.

! Understand that your situation and needs are exceptional to you, personally, but in the scope of the Family Law area, they are probably normal and common.


If you have questions or concerns about Family Law in Fort Lauderdale, Broward County, Florida, or you need a family law attorney to discuss your legal options, call Kim Douglas Sherman, Esquire at (954) 489-9500.  Please look at our qualifications set forth in our website: ShermanLegal.com.  Let us have less personal clashes and more “big picture”–this is what we need. Family law does not have to get messy. I look forward to helping you and your family.