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What is Collaborative Law?

Fort Lauderdale Collaborative Law Attorney, Kim Douglas Sherman, says: “The difference is all about the attorneys.”

“Yes,” you want a mature, peaceful parting.  Lucky for you, your spouse wants the same, but you have some differences on the resolutions of child rearing and child sharing, and the division of properties and debts.  You do not want the attorneys adding to the problems, making things more adversarial–taking aggressive positions as a way of impressing the parties with their knowledge and skill. The Collaborative Family Lawyer, Mr. Sherman points out, is pledged to an out-of-court resolution.  The Collaborative Family Lawyers sign a contract with the parties that restricts the lawyers from being the court lawyers if the collaboration should fail.  The family gets two lawyers trained to collaborate as the alternative to litigate. Collaborative lawyers, like attorney Sherman, bring into the effort other collaboratively trained professionals, like financial experts and mental health experts, to assist in a team effort to achieve satisfactory results.

 

Nurtured in the friendly atmosphere of Collaboration, with lawyers trained to bring about amicable resolutions, you can expect:

  • Lawyers who are very knowledgeable about family law.
  • Lawyers who are invested in providing the spouses and their family with the tools to achieve their own resolution, not a court-imposed edict.
  • Lawyers who will not encourage discord as a way to increase their fees.
  • Lawyers looking to preserve the family’s assets for the family.

 

Long after the lawyers are done with their part in the dissolution, the former spouses have to deal with the plan that they made and the way that they solved their issues.  It takes a smart, mature person to see the benefits that are gained by using Collaborative Family Law and its innovative, trained lawyers. The Collaborative Lawyers are the difference!  If you have questions or concerns about Collaborative Family Law in the Fort Lauderdale, Broward County, Florida area, call Kim Douglas Sherman, Esquire, at (954) 489-9500. 

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Collaborative Law Solves Dispute Over Adult Child.

Recently, I had a couple seeking a divorce and wanting to handle their disputes using the Collaborative Law Approach.  Simply put, “Collaborative Family Law” is an effective, pre-lawsuit team effort to resolve family law issues where the attorneys and spouses agree that the lawyers will not litigate, and the lawyers and other engaged professionals (mental health & financial) are trained to work together to solve the problems raised by the dissolution.

They had been married about thirty years and both had careers that had generated savings in addition to paying for a nice lifestyle.  The wife had a service business with substantial cash and the husband had a furniture business with both cash and inventory.  They owned a commercial building, a home, and a vacation home.  We were quick to agree on what property needed to be appraised; once values were agreed upon, a property division was achieved.  But this dissolution had an unusual problem.  The parties’ only son was in his twenties and he was troubled by repeated bouts of drug addiction.  The Family Courts generally do not provides remedies for the problems of dealing with adult children. The acrimony and blame over their son was blocking a resolution to long term family peace.  They did share an unfaltering love for their son, which lent itself to using the Collaborative Law Approach.

Nurtured in the friendly atmosphere of Collaboration, with lawyers trained to bring about amicable resolutions, the parents dealt with:

  • Continuing financial support
  • Continuing treatment.
  • Professional consultation.
  • Providing safe shelter, and
  • Providing response to calls for “help.”

Mental health professionals opinions were obtained and considered. Driven by their common love for their adult child, the parents used the Collaborative Law Approach to achieve a successful resolution.  If you have questions or concerns about Collaborative Family Law in the Fort Lauderdale, Broward County, Florida area, call Kim Douglas Sherman, Esquire, at (954) 489-9500. 

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In Divorces, Look out for the Moving Target.

This past week I spent a considerable amount of time in an effort to help my client to see that there was not going to be any winning through the court system.  She was emotionally drained and physically ill from years of disputes with her former husband.  What became clear, from our point of view, was that the cost of the litigation was going to eat up and exceed the very best outcome which the Court would decree.  To her credit, my client listened to the advice of this Fort Lauderdale area divorce attorney with forty-years of experience, Kim Douglas Sherman, and she made the practical and proper decision to move forward with a bitter settlement.  To our surprise, having met the terms of the settlement as it had been communicated by the former husband’s counsel, new terms and conditions were raised by the former husband.  Even in agreeing to the original terms, the former wife was presented with terms that disemboweled the meager benefit of the potential bargain. After a long weekend, a re-analysis revealed that there was a new basis for agreement.  While the negotiation continues, the fight goes on–which means that everyone will lose, except for the attorneys.

 

Here are suggestions to assist in negotiations to avoid the “moving target”:

  • While it is enticing to negotiate verbally, obtain written terms at each step of the negotiations.
  • Make sure to take the time to consider each offer before responding.
  • Be practical and consider the costs, both financial and emotional, to failing to settle.
  • At the earliest opportunity try to be clear on what the other side actually needs to reach an agreement.

 

If you have questions or concerns about Divorce Law in Fort Lauderdale, Broward County, Florida, or you need a family law attorney to discuss your legal options, call me, Kim Douglas Sherman, Esquire at (954) 489-9500.  Please look at our qualifications set forth on our website.  Be clear about the terms of potential proposed settlements and avoid the moving target.  I look forward to helping you and your family.

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In Divorces, Look at the Big Picture.

We need to get along. I spent a whole day in trial recently so that a mother could vent her frustration with the children’s father.  She wanted to take away the father’s overnights with the children and she wanted to be the sole decision maker for the children’s major decisions.  The Judge concluded that she was the best parent of the two, but that was not enough to modify the shared parenting that had previously been ordered in the case.  Thousands of dollars in attorneys’ fees were spent, and what was accomplished?  The mother had no chance of “winning,” and she had been told that she would loose by the mediator. [The court regularly requires mediation before it will let a case go to trial.] I say that more dialog, and good faith “give and take” would be helpful in family law.

 

Here are suggestions to assist in negotiations:

! Use the bread, cake, and frosting method to prioritize your issues. The “bread” is what you absolutely need.  The “cake” is what would be a little sweeter to achieve, and the “frosting” is what you can do without.

! Stop blaming; look to the future.

! Try forgiveness.  Remind yourself of the good traits that attracted you to the other person initially. Verbalize the positives of the other person directly to the other person right at the start of negotiations.

! Understand that your situation and needs are exceptional to you, personally, but in the scope of the Family Law area, they are probably normal and common.

 

If you have questions or concerns about Family Law in Fort Lauderdale, Broward County, Florida, or you need a family law attorney to discuss your legal options, call Kim Douglas Sherman, Esquire at (954) 489-9500.  Please look at our qualifications set forth in our website: ShermanLegal.com.  Let us have less personal clashes and more “big picture”–this is what we need. Family law does not have to get messy. I look forward to helping you and your family.

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